Reducing fillers when you speak

Three actions any leader can use to increase confidence

Sometime in the past month of travel, I spied this T-shirt but was too busy juggling kids, boarding passes, iPads, and my cell phone to snap a photo. So when I returned home, I sat down to order myself one.

It’s an incredibly common occurrence, as I work with speakers at all levels of experience, to hear and comment upon their use of fillers. The most common is “um” or its sibling “uh,” but many other words can jump into standing as verbal graffiti as many of my peers call it. I categorize them as follows:

• Distracting nonwords—umm, uh

• Unnecessary qualifiers—kind of, sort of, potentially

• Extraneous terms—like, you know, right, okay, so

The importance of understanding the types of fillers you employ is that this allows you to then discern the pattern of these habits, which can eventually help you eliminate them. For example, one speaker I worked with dropped an “umm” each time he moved to the next slide. We simply replaced that with the topic of the next slide and poof the filler was gone.

It may, however, require more nuance than that. You may need to take a slower, more deliberate approach to reducing these verbal tics. One friend of mine recently shared that she and her husband created a challenge at home to drop the “umms” and “uhs.” Much like a swear jar, they had a fining system, which their kids delighted in enforcing. Within a few weeks, both of them had broken the habit.

For most of my students and clients, this three-step process has been an effective approach.

1. Record your conversations and analyze first the quantity and impact of fillers in your speech. What are your most predominant fillers? Quantify how often they show up in prepared presentations as well as informal conversations.

2. Identify patterns in your use of fillers. Can you see where, and more importantly why, you are dropping these into your presentations and conversations?

3. Monitor yourself and invite others to do the same. It’s a habit you can break, if you set your intention to do so.

Yet, I will add one caution here.

While it’s helpful to reduce fillers, complete elimination may not be required.
A few fillers keep us human, humble, and conversational.

As we move into the final month of summer, see what progress you can make on this simple, but crucial, element of commanding a room with confidence.

JD’s Recommendations: what I’m reading, hearing, and seeing:

• Reading: Alice Boyes's HBR piece, “Managing Anxiety When There’s No Room for Error,” extends today’s topic with further ways to train yourself with good mental habits.

• Hearing: Wharton’s Adam Grant nails it once again in his interview with Baratunde Thurston, the legendary comedian, author, and activist on storytelling that can inspire action. 

• Seeing: be inspired by watching this compelling two-minute rescue video that vividly demonstrates the need to be unrelenting when the stakes are high.

Thanks for joining me every week or two on this journey to greater communication mastery. I always welcome your feedback and view it as a gift.

As always, jds

P.S. Communication Matters continues with each issue to grow in subscribers, readers, and reach. Consider sharing this with others who might also enjoy my occasional tips and insights. If you crave more, check out my book, Communicate with Mastery: speak with conviction and write for impact.