Improving how we communicate
... through realizing that we all begin somewhere.
As we move into the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday weekend, I want to base today’s newsletter on this remarkable man. While much has been written about his oratory and impact as a communicator, my approach is slightly different. I want to look today at his humanity and humility, which I believe sourced his remarkable communication style. While most of us will never deliver a talk from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at the Washington Mall, all of us can learn from, and grow from, Dr. King’s earlier experiences that propelled him to the leadership and spotlight he occupied.
“We must come to see that the end we seek is a society at peace with itself, a society that can live with its conscience. That will be the day not of the white man, not of the black man, that will be the day of man as man.” - Dr. Martin Luther King
(These words form the image by Phil Hansen above, learn more about this artist and how he overcame terrific limitations in his TED talk below.)
Today, as I begin my third year of writing an occasional newsletter, I chose to go back to my very first newsletter and offer it to you from the archive. My copilot Paul and I have edited and improved it so that it might be even better now than when it was first released on January 20, 2023. More importantly, I can see how I have grown as a writer through these past two years of regular correspondence with you, my readers.
I recently learned that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. got a C in public speaking when he was in seminary. I’d love to know the backstory of this grade, which apparently was a dip from the C+ he’d earned in the prior grading period. I share it today because it gives me hope. Even one of the greatest orators of all time did not always have that gift; apparently, it was something even Dr. King had to develop.
In my twenty years of teaching communication to grad students at NYU, Stanford, Columbia, and now USC, I’ve graded tens of thousands of presentations. I’ve probably given some low grades to students who’ve gone on to do some amazing things, much like the Yale professor who gave Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, a C on his term paper outlining what would become the giant overnight delivery service we know today. I’m sure some of my feedback will come back to haunt me, too.
But the larger point is that all of us are developing (or should be) throughout our careers and lives. That’s the concept of mastery in communication that I espouse every chance I get. Each time we write or speak, our goal is not perfection, but incremental growth. We want to be a little bit better than the last time we communicated.
In parenting our kids, Ken and I often talk about the value of the simple word “yet” when they are talking about something they’re not good at. It makes all the difference when our 9-year-old Roma can just add it to the end of a sentence. “I’m not good at drawing unicorns…yet.” It reinforces that all skills in life can be developed if we choose to focus on them.
If Dr. King can rebound from a C to earn A’s, be a valedictorian, and become a renowned orator, what’s possible for you?
What areas of your own speaking and writing are not yet where you want them to be? What can you do to attain greater mastery in these over the coming year?
My reflections on Dr. King have only been amplified in the years since I first wrote the words above. Every day as an entrepreneur and communications practitioner, I must directly face my own limitations and shortcomings. And I have to avoid being stopped by those qualities in order to serve my audiences in keynotes, my participants in workshops, my students at USC, and my individual coaching clients.
We are not defined by our limitations as communicators. In fact, quite the opposite. We are defined by how we operate beyond our limitations to make a difference for those with whom we communicate.
I’d love to hear from you this week about how you have stepped beyond limitations in order to communicate more effectively with an individual or group. Drop a note in the chat below or drop me an email. I treasure communication from my subscribers. If you are not a subscriber, this is a great chance to smash the button below and join the family of Communication Matters subscribers.
As I move into my third year of sharing this newsletter, I am going to switch things up just a little. In each issue, I will highlight a talk that embodies the qualities of communicating with mastery. At times, these will be leaders I have coached, and sometimes these will just be great talks that I have found. Below the talk of the week, I will continue to share what I am reading, hearing, and seeing for you to explore until next time. The first talk I want to spotlight is Phil Hansen’s 2013 TED talk, Embrace the Shake. As noted above, his story of overcoming limitations inspires me every time I see it. I purchased the artwork above for my husband, who regularly shares Phil’s story as an example of moving past your limiting beliefs to achieve great things.
Finally…JD’s Recommendations: what I’m reading, hearing, and seeing
Reading: Great advice from James Clear on Growing fast versus growing slow.
Hearing: Sarah Shourd, my friend and colleague, shares her compelling journey as a political hostage in Iran on This is Actually Happening.
Seeing: As we watch the horrific fires in Southern California, there was a sign of hope with the arrival of South African firefighters to join the cause.
Drop a comment below with suggestions for what you appreciate from my suggestions and what else you’d suggest to others.
What a liberating idea to embrace my limitation instead of hiding it behind the closet!
Thank you so much, as always. I thoroughly enjoyed the newsletter.
How enjoyable to read this again! I remember it well yet I can feel it is even better than when you first wrote it. A perfect example of how even small improvements makes such a difference, because it was well written in the first place. I love the change up that you are including videos of good communicators